April 4, 2008

GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE 11

charlie's calendar

Alexis Antes, concert with singer-songwriter, $5, the Nickel, 4365 State Road, Cleveland; 216-661-1314, www.myspace.com/ TheNickelBar.

Sunday, April 13

Asians and Friends Business Meeting, join in planning the future of Asians and Friends Cleveland, 3 pm, dinner follows, at a private home in Lakewood (Cleveland); www.afcleveland.org, afcleveland@aol.com. Monday and Tuesday, April 14 and 15 AIDS Leadership Conference, presented by the Ohio AIDS Coalition, HIV Care Services Section of the Ohio Department of Health and the Pennsylvania/Mid Atlantic AIDS Education and Training Center, Ramada Plaza Hotel and Conference Center, 4900 Sinclair Rd, Columbus; 800-226-5554, www.ohioaids coalition.org.

Lobby Day, sponsored by the National Center for Transgender Equality and the Transgender Law Center, Washington, D.C.; www.nctequality.org.

Tuesday, April 15

Bereavement Workshop, with speaker beth Shapiro from the Hospice of the Western Reserve, free, CEUs available to professionals for $10 in advance, $15 door, 10 am, Cleveland LGBT Center, 6600 Detroit Ave, Cleveland; 216-651-5428 ext. 26, aoverko@lgbt cleveland.org.

Freedom to Parent: Lesbian and Gay Families, video on the damage done to children in Arkansas and Florida by bans on gay adoption, discussion follows, sponsored by ACLU of Ohio, Unitarian Universalist Social Action Committee and Ohioans for Marriage Equality, 7 pm, Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, 3186 Burbank Rd, Wooster; 330-262-9194.

Thursday, April 17

Insight Monthly Dinner, Cleveland LGBT personal, social and business networking organization, for location and reservation call 216556-0576.

Erie Gay Pride Benefit, featuring performance of enlightening murder mystery Siblings, 6:30 pm reception, 8 pm play, $25, Director's Circle Theater, 1001 State Street, Erie, Pa.; 866229-1974, eriegaypride@gmail.com.

Bitch

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ones out of the drawer and pair them with inspired melodies, and that is Early Girl in its quintessence.

Angelisa Crognale, Laura Ackerman and Becky McMahon have, in the last year, lost a bandmate, gained a bandmate and then lost her, but "stripped-down" is far from descriptive of the trio.

Whether they're rocking covers of Dolly Parton's "9 to 5" and Concrete Blonde's "Days and Days" or original compositions like "Nobody's Wife" and "Fucking Whore"

Thursday to Saturday, April 17 to 19

On the Move: Stepping Out on Faith, sixth biennial Metropolitan Community Churches Conference for People of African Descent, Friends and Allies, St. Louis, Missouri; www.mccchurch.org.

Saturday, April 19

Hampton Hills/Heron Rookery Hike, organized by Cleveland Out and About, 1 pm, meet at park entrance on Akron-Peninsula Road, 14 mile south of Steels Corners Rd, Botzum (Akron); 216-556-4832, www.clevelandoutand about.org.

Transgender Rights Town Hall Meeting, with guest speaker Mara Keisling, executive director of the National Center for Transgender Equality, presented by TransOhio, 3 pm, Stonewall Columbus, 1160 North High St, Columbus; 614-441-8167, www.transohio.org. Benefit Dinner and Silent Auction, to raise money for the Lorain County AIDS Taskforce, 5 pm, $25, $20 Lorain County Community College students and staff, Spitzer Conference Center, LCCC campus, 1005 North Abbe Rd, Elyria; 440-452-5228.

It's Raining Men, concert by the North Coast Men's Chorus Coastliners, $10,7 pm, Liberation UCC, 13714 Madison Ave, Lakewood (Cleveland); 216-521-5556, libucc@aol.com. Volleyball Banquet, awards and recognition party for the North Coast Athletics Volleyball league, kick-off for the North Coast Invasion tournament and Cleveland Leather Annual Weekend, location TBA, Cleveland; 216905-8005, www.northcoastathletics org. Queer Variety Show, benefits the Metro Youth Outreach program of the Cleveland LGBT Center, $7 advance, $10 door, Bounce, 2814 Detroit Ave, Cleveland; www.lgbt cleveland.org, 216-651-5428.

Mr. Capital City Lights All Star Pageant, with MCs Paige Passion and Big 'n' Tasty, 10 pm, contestant entry $50, registration 2 pm4 pm, show and pageant 10 pm, Somewhere Else, 1312 South High St, Columbus; registration info 614-905-8320 or nomodrama 43207@yahoo.com.

Julie Schurr, nationally renowned lesbian singer, $5, the Nickel, 4365 State Road, Cleveland; 216-661-1314, www.myspace.com/ thenickelbar.

(an audience favorite), they perform like seasoned veterans.

In fact, it would be hard to pick two better bands to support Bitch and the Exciting Conclusion on the show. Hmmm... perhaps they could form sorne sort of strange mutant super-group, like Black River Early Bitch, or Baby Girl Conclusion. It would be worth far more than the cost of admission.

Bitch and the Exciting Conclusion with special guests Black River Baby and Early Girl will play the Grog Shop, 2785 Euclid Heights Blvd in Cleveland Heights, on Wednesday, April 9 at 9 pm. Admission is $7. For more information or directions, go to www.grogshop.gs.

PRE-MARKET EVENING OPEN HOUSE

For a full year of events:

Chronicle.com

Sunday, April 20

Mara Keisling, executive director of National Center for Transgender Equality, presenting a town hall meeting on the Employment NonDiscrimination Act, hosted by the Cleveland LGBT Center and TransFamily, 4 pm, 6600 Detroit Ave, Cleveland; 216-651-5428, www.lgbtcleveland.org.

Chevrei Tikva Passover Seder, meal and service recounting the story of the Jews' liberation from enslavement in Egypt, $39, $18 children 6-12, free for children under 6, Anshe Chesed Fairmount Temple, 23737 Fairmount Blvd, Beachwood (Cleveland); RSVP by April 14 to 216-464-1330 ext. 126, clipton@ fairmounttemple.org.

Naked

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to say it, limp! Where have the creators been all these years? Have they been blind to a culture where tits, ass and dick are increasingly used to lure us to part with our dollars in search of entertainment, consumer satisfaction or just plain old sexual voyeurism and libidinous gratification?

The talent of all the actors-Andrew Blake Ames, Jason Currie, Jaymes Hodges, Joseph Keane, Anthony Manough, Ethan Le Phong, Joe Souza, Kevin Stea, Salvatore Vassallo and Vincent Zamora-is worthy of mentioning here. They sing well, they act with nuance, and their performances hold up well. The lip-synching is particularly well done, as is the overall sound work, given that the songs are dubbed like in most cinematic musicals. Of course, even if they had wanted to record the music while filming, there is that pesky little conundrum of where to hide the mikes.

There is a sweetness to some of the songs ("Nothing But the Radio On") and even an innocent poignancy to others ("Kris, Look What You Missed").

The place where my ire got to boiling was watching the DVD's behind-the-scenes featurette on the making of Naked Boys Singing. The directors, especially Troy Christian, extol the virtues of how their musical and their cast celebrate the diversity of the male body type. That's a downright lie at best and bullshit that is insulting to even a brain-dead person at worst.

If these men are the spectrum of bodytypes, then what are those of us above a 34 waist? Not men? Not human? Please, Mr. Christian, we know that Hollywood and Broadway are all about looks, about perfect abs and depilated pecs. We get it. We're even somewhat okay with that. But don't tell me that these men represent a celebration of all sorts of body types. That's perpetuating body fascism at its worst. Stop pretending that your film of Naked Boys

Пoward

How

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SMYTHE CRAMER

To list your non-profit group or club's events, send the date, time, location and contact phone to P.O. Box 5426, Cleveland, Ohio 44101, or fax to 216631-1052, or e-mail to Calendars @ChronOhio.com. Each week's calendar shows events in the upcoming week, plus selected later events. But it's never too early to send in a calendar item; listings for months into the future are posted on our web site, www.GayPeoplesChronicle.com. Deadline for each week's calendar is noon on Thursday of the previous week.

Singing is the Mother Teresa of lost, hopeless, destitute male body images. Stop asking audiences to believe that these men represent the entirety of body images in the gay or any other culture. They don't, unless Heidi Klum, Julia Roberts, Paris Hilton, and Kate Moss represent the entire spectrum of female body types.

It is possible that the actors in the film don't think they're perfect. That's understandable. But that doesn't mean that they represent the rest of us. If these men have body image anxiety and issues then the rest of us may as well pack it in and call it a life! We know that the film would never have been made with anyone over 250 pounds, anyone with a spare tire around the waist, or an actor with unruly body hair.

Let's be totally honest. Those actors would have not made it to the audition line up. Not to mention that these are boys and not men, as the title implies. There is a built in body preference in the title, feeding into our Peter Pan syndromes, the fetishization of the perfection of youth beyond what is healthy. That itself requires some serious scrutiny because, I bet, Naked Men Singing would just not have sold as well. It is clear that what the musical is beguiling us into consuming is sexy, young, fit, approaching-perfection naked boys! Who just happen to sing and dance a bit. The fact that the filmmakers seem to feel compelled to justify this piece by layering it with cultural or political significance, indicates that they are somewhat uncomfortable themselves with nudity for nudity's sake.

Ultimately, it is this pretense of Naked Boys Singing, being more than it really is, that is baffling and unmitigatedly annoying. There's a song about gratuitous nudity in the musical. There's nothing wrong in saying that we know people like to see naked men live or on film. So let's fulfill that need, that want for gratuitous nudity, in our audiences. That's all.

No political grandstanding, no pretend messaging of body-type inclusivity, no bullshit! That would be truly revolutionary. Truly naked!

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